Top five at five

Well, this post was initially started at 5 last evening. But due to reasons beyond my control (my drinking), I had to put it away for the evening and continue it during my oh so interesting sunday morning.

Below are Dubai's top five fashion fads that I absolutely hate. Of course you dont have to take my opinion about this, since I am no fashion guru.

I am proud of my anti fashion stance. I can't stand fashion shows, models, designers or even those uber trendy shops (forever 21, zara, mango).

A fashion designer is nothing but a failed artist. Anyone who argues otherwise is a moron of epic proportions.

1. Those stupid bands: Yes, they are supposed to be for charity. Yes, 1 fil goes towards some crappy cancer research institute somewhere in the middle of North Dakota. But it still doesnt excuse you from wearing a stupid, pastel shaded, piece of rubber round your wrist in a show of your undying support to saving the black eyed pigeon or some other stupid cause. If you really cared why don't you donate the money directly. This fad had me fuming in anger when I started noticing people wearing multiple bands and by multiple companies (who have all jumped on the bandwagon). What next?? lets all tie a condom on our wrist to make a statement against STDs.....
2. All Things David Bekham: If his constantly changing hairstyle is not annoying enough, Buttface Bekham has also launched a cologne (which I assume will make you smell like an arrogant smirking twit, if the ads are anything to go by). What is even more annoying is the willingness with which supposedly straight men ape Bekham.
3. Bling: Go ahead and advertise the fact that you finally have come into a couple of thousand dollars. It just shows that you are nouveau riche. Go ahead and wear that chunky blinging jewellary, go ahead and pimp you toyota echo, you are not fooling anyone. We all know you have to resort to eating shawarmas and cup noodles by the middle of the month, just so you can afford those new Chanel Glasses.
4. Alien Eye Sunglasses: One of the trends that we see the fashion victims (i.e: the uber trendy people from the Levant) sporting this time of the year are those huge frog eyed sunglasses from the likes of Chanel (Chantel, if bought from Karama) that make one look like an out of work Alien Extra. To summarise, it is just plain YUCKY.
5. Skin Melting Perfume: Buying an expensive perfume is not an excuse to bathe in it and share its smell with a third of Dubai. Please stop advertising that you didnt take your shower today. And please think of us little people who almost choke to death whenever we share a lift with you.